Tuesday, February 2, 2010

And now...

Someone once told me that you'll never truly get over someone until you find someone else who can make you even happier.

At the time I called bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit, BULLSHIT. Of course, this was late August. I was a wreck, I was still stumbling, and I was looking for every possible way to continue to be unhappy. But...God had bigger things for me. So He picked me up. And he gave me Matt.

Here I am, 6 months and 2 weeks after the most devistating events of my life. I wasn't sure if I'd ever say this, or at least, I didn't believe I'd be saying this anywhere near this soon, but I am finally free of it all. Of course, still, there are certain things. Things that, beyond my control, bring me back to it. But the pain is gone, and the anger, the overwhelming anger that was devouring me whole, has almost completely subsided. And hearing about his life, from all these people who seem to think I want to know how bad he's doing (which, okay, makes me smile. My bad), doesn't bother me anymore. Because when I hear about that life, I no longer think about how I would be fitting in there, had things never changed. Now I simply shutter at the idea of if things had never changed.


I'm not going to get all mushy, and girly, and talk about the one who saved me, who brought me back to life. I'm just going to say, that over the last 5 months, he has put more life into me than I have seen in years. YEARS, really. I'd forgotten what it meant to live for Aubree, and what it felt like to give your all and get more back. And in the last 2 months that we have been dating, I have felt more loved than I ever have. If I wanted to write down all that he means to me, and does for me, I would never stop writing. Life is moving at just the right pace for once.

And I thank God everyday for giving him to me.